All Together Now

Woman 2/5/09

Someone remarked to me the other day that a particular item of clothing I was wearing was really cool. It was the rest of my clothes that made no sense in relation to that piece. The exact words were “ but that shirt and tie…”.

The moral of the story? Sometimes, taken individually, one can have great pieces, but when worn with the wrong combination it just becomes like Popeye’s chicken served with foie gras.

You couldn’t help but be drawn to her. Just about six feet tall, and wearing a down winter coat that was the perfect shade of Heinz Ketchup red. The fuscia pink Juicy Couture sweats followed. And on her feet were a pair of Uggs-not-Uggs boots covered with long fur There was a snowflake motif on the heel of those boots. A somewhat matching purple handbag finished off her look.

The coat itself looked like a brand that had knocked off Moncler – right down to having a crest and a number patch on the left arm. Still, it was a very fashionable number, and I’ve seen the same jacket on a few other New Yorkers. The jacket had a hood that was trimmed in fur. And under that jacket, you could make out a cotton hoodie that was a multi-colored pastel lines print.

The sweats were basic Juicy Couture done in fuscia pink. They hugged her waist, butt and thighs, just giving slightly at her calves before being tucked into her boots.

Those boots initially didn’t seem all that fashionable. The first thought that popped into mind was that someone had cut Chewbacca off just at the calf and hollowed it out so that someone might keep their feet warm. But the more one looked, the better they got. They were genuinely fashionable. Cutting edge for some, but still well within the Generally Accepted Fashion Principles.

Taken individually, each piece would probably not be out of place in some fashionista’s closet. But put it all together, and that woman was attracting attention like a body in full rigor getting ready to spawn pupae.

Forgot to mention her hair. Small black braids that were curled like hair would be in large curling rollers. There were no rollers, but those curls were at least 2.5 inches in diameter.

Maybe it was the hair.