Thursday, January 8, 2009

Blue Collar

Men 12/29

You know you are a blue collar worker in the NYC subway when…

You and Your Buddy:
- Have to sit across from each other; never side-by-side, in fact, you best not be on the same side of the car unless you can help it.
- Talk loudly making sure everyone hears your conversation.
- Don’t make eye contact with your buddy unless you are talking to him directly, and even then, not really.
- Have to spread your legs as wide open as possible so as to let your manhood have its own zip code worth of space.

Your Attire is up to Code:
- Timberlands – tan, lace-up work boots; caked with dust or mud.
- Hooded sweatshirt. One is mandatory, two if it’s cold outside. No bold prints or patterns though.
- A nylon bomber is permitted if the weather is below freezing, but only if paired with the hooded sweatshirt.
- In place of the bomber, any Carhartt jacket will do.
- Jeans. Dirty, lightly faded and preferably loose fit, though regular is preferred.
- Baseball cap or plain beanie optional.
- Facial hair in some form; goatee, five O’clock shadow or mustache.
- A flannel shirt. Or, for the one who are not managerial material, a long sleeve Henley.

Your Conversation consists of:
- Your wife and how she nags at you
- Another buddy’s new truck
- Beer
- Naps
- The Jets or the Giants
- The Yankees or the Mets
- No mention of basketball whatsoever, because basketball is not blue-collar enough for you.

It’s clichĂ©, but from what I’ve seen, this is describes these guys to a tee.

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