Some of my pet peeves in watching subway riders:
Wearing two hoodies at one time – does that make you doubly cool? Surely your closet has another piece of warm clothing.
Putting on your make-up during the morning rush hour – couldn’t you be beautiful before you left home?
Women wearing shorts in winter – that goes for men too. We are not in Japan!
Tattoos on your head – well, its either fear, respect or I’m having that dream where I am sitting in a chair at Last Rites…
Loafers in winter – how do you walk in the snow wearing those things?
Fur coat, fur hat, just lots of fur – you should pawn that freaking fur, and take a cab or buy a car because your regal self is clearly above mass transit.
Leaving your paper for the next rider – unless it’s the NYT or WSJ, take the paper and put it in the trash. Those papers you leave cost 25 cents or are free. Besides the MTA recycles all trash, so no environmental guilt there.
Old Chinese folks wearing NorthFace winter jackets – yes they may be fake, but I’m putting my NorthFace stuff away. And selling my stock in VF Corp.
Panhandlers who never change their tune – There is a small man with a guitar and speaker in his backpack. “Baby Can I Hold You Tonight”, “Ain’t No Sunshine”. Learn a new freaking tune!!! Ten years and two songs.
Anyone who smells bad – please. Shower, deodorant , cologne and clean clothes. Step 3 is optional. If you know how to ride the subway, you know how to follow this easy 4 Step program! Yes, the rules apply to panhandlers too.
Wearing your sunglasses in the train – I’ve tried that. And I’m not cool.